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You’re Now More Likely to Die From Swallowing Your Own Vomit than From Murder [Death]

Outstanding news, terrified Americans who watch too many fearmongering cable news crime stories: for the first time in nearly 50 years, homicide is not one of the top 15 causes of death in America. First a black president, and now this! Why, it’s damn near impossible to get anyone to kill you these days. America is a safety festival, and everyone under the age of 75 is invited. More »

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