Bieber and Selena Gomez Skipped a Fancy Family Dinner to Play Games Because They Are Children Who Are Millionaires

Susan Orlean’s classic Esquire article, “The American Male at Age Ten,” opens with the titular boy’s description of what Susan Orlean’s life would be like if the two were married. They would “both be good at Nintendo Street Fighter II, but Colin would be better.” They wouldn’t have sex—just crushes—and “magically, babies would appear.” For fun, they “would load a slingshot with dog food” and aim it at Orlean’s butt. More »